A Mother’s Story

By Joan McGovern

Thomas (Tommy) McGovern was my eleventh child; I had thirteen. He was quiet as a small child, liked to be read to. I can still see him sitting with my Grandmother while she read a story to him. He was a nice little boy. He loved music. When he was in the seventh grade, he tried out and got a part in the school musical, “Oliver.” I must admit I was his most severe critic...but it soon became apparent he was very talented musically.

He had a wonderfully sweet voice, and from early on, he earned the leads in all of the high school musicals. He did well in school. At the end of his Junior year -- actually it was the night he was inducted into the National Honor Society -- he informed me that he was gay.

It never changed our relationship; he was still my son and I loved him. His family all loved and accepted him also. It wasn’t hard; he had a wonderful sense of humor. He always played the piano and sang, and even wrote some music of his own.

As a Senior at White Plains High School, he had his pick of anything he wanted to do and he chose “Music Man” -- I must tell you, I lived with Harold Hill for three months. Following graduation, he was accepted into the Syracuse School of Musical Theater, but chose to attend SUNY in Purchase, where he majored in music and acting. When his mentor urged him to try out for a Stephen Sondheim musical, he did so and was runner up for the part. Tommy had to audition in front of Hal Prince in a Broadway theater, and received a letter from Mr. Prince telling him not to be discouraged, that he had a lot of talent, and the reason he didn’t get the part was because he couldn’t dance. Having never taken lessons professionally, Tommy left school and went to Palo Alto for two years to learn how to dance. Unfortunately, the rest is history.

In January of 1989, Tommy informed me he had AIDS. He refused all treatment having seen too many of his friends die. Fortunately, he was able to enjoy a fairly good quality of life that year. In March of 1990, Tommy was diagnosed with Kaposi’s sarcoma in his lungs, which spread rapidly. That Easter, all his siblings gathered to be with him, and we had our last family picture taken. Tommy died June 6, 1990, peacefully, surrounded by his family and friends.

It was the Thanksgiving after Tommy died when a friend and classmate of his came to visit us. She asked if we would like a scholarship fund started in Tommy’s name. The class of 1980 had a reunion at that time, and at the reunion she made the proposal. We requested they make it a scholarship for a student who wanted to go into the Performing Arts. Thus, the Thomas J. McGovern Memorial Scholarship was born.

The Art and Music Department of White Plains High School pick the most deserving student every year. The first scholarship was awarded in June, 1990.

I can’t think of a more fitting memorial for my beautiful son than by helping someone else continue in the field of Performing Arts - fulfilling the dream Tommy was denied. The Thomas J. McGovern Memorial Scholarship Fund is like the “Loaves and Fishes.” Some angels always generously come along, and every year we seem to be able to do it again. We call it “Keeping the Love Alive!”